Each month, we get a schedule in the mail that lists all the Special Olympic activities. Garrett and I are very active in our local group as well as regional and state level teams and competitions. It makes a difference for Garrett to be active, his social skills as well as his emotional stability. I am blessed to have a personal scheduled that works around home, work and him. This month’s calendar was late arriving due to staff scheduling and it was fine, but Garrett is all about routine. We had planned to go bowling on Wednesday since we didn’t have a schedule. This is what we do when golf isn’t in season. However, when I picked Garrett up and his bowling ball then we were at the coffee shop getting his “energy” tea, I got a text saying, “Golf at 3:00.” I had to tell Garrett. I should video that lol. To change his routine brings on no bad behavior but it does bring 1k questions, anxiety and a transformation in the thinking process. We managed and headed to golf, which is his favorite activity we do.
On the golf course, I walk the far edges of the holes we are playing just in case the team hits the ball into the “far land.” While walking the edge of the woods, high grass, and waters, I find a number of golf balls left by other players. I feel complete if I find five balls but have found as many as seventy. It’s great because our Special Olympic team can use golf balls all year long! This particular day, I found one with “R” on it. My first thought was, “Wow, I found one for “R”ita! “R”ight! Lol then I showed Garrett’s partner and coach, Mark English, to which he replied, “…or regrets…” He and his wife know my whole life story… I got to thinking about that…
There a lot of “R” words that come to mind that you and I have experienced. Many life-experiences came to mind and some are hard to read much less to think about…Racism, Railroaded, Rape, Rebellion, Ratty, Ruthless, Repressed, Repulsed, and there are many more, but one I can’t type because it turns me completely off even as slang, the “R” word. Regardless, yet another emotion in itself, we all have felt the sting of words, but the one I want to focus on is “R” ejection.
I knew the reality of rejection, but had not actually faced the it until my husband walked out. It took me a while and through my son’s eyes and verbalization to realize that, “Yup, this happened.” Hearing the words, “I never loved you,” when he walked out handing me papers, unexpectedly, made sense to me immediately. I believed him. There is always a puzzle that you can’t find that missing piece. Then when you find it…the picture is complete. That was the missing piece that put many situations in my life together. It exposed not only him but other relationships I had at that time but also my whole life. Rejection defined it, not the root of their behavior
Rejection has the opportunity to plant many emotions and reactions. However, you get to decide what is planted in that soil and what you get from that harvest. I decided to plant and sow in faith. I had to stand up for what was right, to take care of myself and my son; however, also I had to provide in the realistic world as well as to trust that harvest to yield beyond my feelings and live my faith. That is where I decided to do these things every day from day one after this life-experience happened:
- I wrote three things I was thankful for every day regardless if I felt like it or not.
- I got up and hour earlier every day and read five different devotionals every morning.
- I went to my room every night one hour before bedtime and read five other devotionals every night. (Btw, I still have these books and use them often, my devotionals are more personal now).
- I wrote out my prayers and have them in a notebook today. Why? Because sometimes I didn’t have the words to say or know how to pray. God honored and blessed those prayers.
- I found a Bible believing, teaching, preaching church and community and got active.
- I found DivorceCare and Celebrate Recovery. There are more support groups out there, but for me, I needed people. I was married for thirty-four years and needed to know how to speak, react, behave with a child that will always be a child, adult children, estrangement, negativity, court, and even being a foodoholic. I needed to know how to never go back to my past of being with people that chose habits and hangups in their lives over God and their partner and spouse.
- I never (not even now) talk about my relationships of the past in my home or in front of my children or my mother, who I am the primary caregiver. Instead I encourage them to see those that hurt me in a positive light and listen to their on pains, channeling them toward a better reflection of how our lives have been blessed and what our home is today with the hopes of tomorrow.
Get this if nothing else, social media was not the place I posted harmful, hurtful things during any life-experience. Break that habit regardless what your immediate reaction, emotion might be to any situation you are in. Social media isn’t the place to air your drama or dirty laundry, if you will.
- I was extended love and grace beyond my comprehension, it was time for me to learn to extend the bit I could. I love the people that hurt me, pray for them continuously, however, it is the enemy of darkness, the habit, the hangup I battled, not the person. I had to learn what I was battling.
Know these are just a few things I did to change my focus from rejection to rejoicing, rejection to redeemed!
You may have grown up in alcoholism, drugs, abuse, food addictions, or rejection. You can change the future, end the cycle, create your today. Rejection is dealt with in scripture. Let’s read Lamentations 3:24-26: “…The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him. The Lord is good to those whose hope in Him; to the one who seeks Him; it is good to WAIT quietly.” Sometimes we are called to wait, but the thing is we have our hope in Him and in that the courage. I lived that hope, not in bitterness or regret. Rejection is an invitation to live in expectation of something more, an appointment, if you will, to make room for tomorrow. You have a choice, regardless how tired you get of me saying that, you have a choice to rejoice regardless of your life situation. What seeds are you planting and sowing? You will reap what you sow from the seeds you plant. When rejections come, sow the seeds of rejoicing, thanksgiving. Moving to a better place, a happy place, one of joy and thankfulness is a choice. I have no excuses to live a healthier lifestyle by moving my stresses to being thankful and rejoicing regardless what is happening in that garden. Weed out the negative, the past, and let it go.
It’s time to live Rejected to Redeemed,
Rejected to Rejoicing without definition
and with no excuses!